Fast Debt Relief

I’ve been romantically involved with Buddy off and on for 5 years. Our 1st relationship was 4 months. I went into the relationship knowing it would be short term because I was awaiting a different suitor. Buddy cheated on me within a few months. I then cheated on him in return. I ended up leaving Buddy for the guy I had been waiting on. (I already committed myself to the other guy before leaving Buddy. And later told Buddy that I didn’t take the relationship seriously as a reason for cheating and leaving him) When I broke up with the new boyfriend, I returned to Buddy. This open relationship continued for 3 years (I’d date Buddy in-between dating other guys who I’d leave him for I thought, at the time, were a better match for me) Then, in July of 08 I decided to make Buddy and I official. I noticed my feelings were getting deeper for him and couldn’t ignore my pattern of always returning to him. So I wanted it all – to move in and to declare each other as our true loves. And we did with equal excitement! We felt relief that our childish cat and mouse games were over and were ready to settle down and dreamed of marriage and children. However, rocky times fell on our relationship within 3 months. There was arguing and public scenes and I came to think that his personality just may not be a good match for mine after all. So I asked him to get his own place and we could chill out and see what happens. In an attempt to figure out what wasn’t matching up with us: we spoke often about our relationship and what we want out of life and each other. We even did extensive questionnaires. During this time, a month after Buddy got his own place; I found out he had a 2 week affair with another girl. (He said he felt I was going to break up with him anyways as a reason for why he cheated) I broke everything off. I feel it seemed as if we were trying to figure things out finally and he disregarded our attempts. It has been 5 months since, and I have started talking to him again. We both want another chance at the deep connection we had a taste of in July. I feel a strangers un-biased opinion can help me make the decision to make up or stay broken up. I have made a pro and con list to show where our strengths and weaknesses are. Tell me if you think we were just young and testing each other and can work through this or if we are simply hopeless and should move on.

Pro:
Love always feels new: recover from misunderstandings and fights fast.
Same goals for a family.
Same goals for individual experience (travel, large purchases, education)
View each other as future good parents.
Same tastes in hobby and culture.
Similar yearly earnings.
Approve of the others choice of profession.
Physical attraction never fades.
Same youth like demeanor including humor and optimism.
Both are willing to go to counseling to figure out what is causing us to fight and cheat and keep secrets.
We respect each other’s commitment to staying healthy.

Con:
Neither of us has been 100 percent monogamous.
We do not like each others choice in friends.
I like change – he likes routine.
I am turned off with his “tough guy” ego characteristics.
I feel like a caged animal when he acts possessive of me and can’t see it as his way of showing he adores me.
He feels like I enjoy attention from males and does not trust I have boundaries set for male interaction.
He is immature with money and has large collection accounts.
He feels I am not proud of him. I find it hard to disagree because of the recent cheat and his choice of friends and debt.
We both feel the other is keeping white lies as secrets.

It’s just sex. That’s all. nothing more, nothing less. Just sex. Move on

This entry was posted on Thursday, April 15th, 2010 at 4:16 pm and is filed under fast debt relief. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.